"All that glitters is not gold"
As I stood on the platform, I reminisced about what I was
leaving behind. I envisioned the look on my husband’s face as he woke up in the
morning and realised that I was absent. I could almost feel his touch, every
morning since we married he would, without fail, give me a peck on the cheek
and play with my hair to gently wake me up. Standing amongst the city crowds, a
tear trickled down my cheeks. It suddenly occurred to me that I was leaving
everything. This was the first time I had a chance to consider my feelings, and
for just a glimpse of a second, I wondered whether I was making a mistake. But
I wasn’t, I didn’t deserve a family, not after what I had done.
I was brought up in the vast city of London. From a baby,
I was surrounded by bright city lights and the madness of industry everywhere I
went. My parents had brought me up as a city girl, they were a working couple. When
I met my husband, I realised a busy life wasn’t for me. We settled for a
peaceful life that focused on family values. I loved that about my husband; we
wanted the same.
The happiest moment of my life was the birth of my son.
Holding him in my hands, I saw him as a jewel- beautiful and precious. I couldn’t
believe the intensity of the love I suddenly felt for something so small. Since
that day, I have maintained a strong relationship with him. Family is important
and I wanted to give him the gift of love and stability, which meant a lot to
me.
A train whizzed past me, making the tail of my coat float
up into the air. My memory flickered back to the long summer days we spent as a
family. The endless glasses of lemonade we would devour during a picnic by the
lake. This was undoubtedly bliss. I remember a dog running up to us, escaping
from its owner. As a reflex, my son grabbed the bottom of my skirt, I guess he
thought I could always protect him. I knew that, had my son been with me on the
platform, he would have clutched on to the bottom of my coat every time a train
rushed past, or a crowd flooded out of the ticket booth.
Anybody would wonder what could be so dreadful that would
make me be at the platform, heading miles away on my own. You see, all that
glitters is not gold; despite outward appearances, my life was not perfect. Throughout
my life with my husband, I have always had a cloud above my ray of happiness.
It has always loomed over me. That day. What I did. I will never forget it. And
that’s why I have to go.
I couldn’t leave my husband and son without an
explanation, I owed them a letter at least. It took me several attempts, trying
to find the right words, trying to jot down my feelings amongst the sea of
tears that kept splattering onto my note. It was finally done. The breakdown of
my life was there on a page, and nobody would ever forgive me. I got up in the middle of the night, lightly
pecked my sleeping husband on the cheek and whispered my love for him. I then
went to see my son, who was also sound asleep. A salty tear ran down my cheek
as I kissed his head. When I went downstairs, I took a last glance around my home,
the place that shared my fondest memories. I balanced my letter against the
fruit bowl on the kitchen table and went into the black darkness.
I sighed as my train came in and people started to pick
up their luggage, barging to the front to ensure they got a seat. I glanced at
the wedding ring on my finger before taking it off and hiding it in my pocket; I
prepared to board. A ticket man ushered me onto the train and as I took a step
forward I heard someone calling me. A familiar voice. I look around and saw a
figure running towards me. I watched his slender body push his way forward. His
feet tripping as he weaved between the busy crowds. His hands were poised in a determined fist
clench and his eyes, shining with the moisture of his tears, narrowed as his
gaze met mine. He finally reached where I was standing and looked up at me with
that face I knew too well. There he was. My son.
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